


War Orphan

by Milly_Blank



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Azula (Avatar) Needs a Hug, Child Abuse, Disfigurement, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Ozai (Avatar) Being a Terrible Parent, Ozai (Avatar) is an Asshole, attempted child murder, azulon orders azula's death instead, runaway azula, scarred azula
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-29
Updated: 2021-03-09
Packaged: 2021-03-10 22:28:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 11
Words: 18,656
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28394634
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Milly_Blank/pseuds/Milly_Blank
Summary: Azulon knew Ozai favored Azula more, that's why when his son pleaded for the throne, he demanded his daughter die. A favored child for a favored child. Azula heard it from behind the curtains...if only someone would believe her....
Relationships: Azula & Ozai (Avatar), Azula & Ursa (Avatar), Azula & Zuko (Avatar)
Comments: 66
Kudos: 315





	1. Chapter 1

Azula was eight years old when she overheard her Grandfather order her death. She gulped back the urge to scream and heard her father agree to kill her for the throne. She fled as fast as she could toward her brother's rooms.

She went in without any preamble, Zuko having just removed the finer outer robes their father had forced them to wear to show off their branch of the family. Lu ten was buried beneath the walls of Ba Sing Se and Iroh, in his grief, drew back his armies. He had abandoned a six hundred day long siege in an instant....and Ozai would use this instant to strike. 

Except, his father was not swayed by their demonstrations (despite hers being perfect) and instead demanded an heir for an heir. A favored child. Her. Her father is going to kill her. She started to shout as much to Zuko, who looked at her bewildered. 

"What?! Why would father kill you? You're the prodigy! Man...usually your lies are better than that, Azula..." Zuko scoffs and crawls into bed. "Now get out. I'm going to sleep."

"Father is going to kill me, Zuzu. Grandfather ordered him to kill me! Are you going to help me or not?!"

Zuko sat up in his bed, and glared at his sister. "Help you? Why would I need to help you? You seem to always know everything, Azula. This is getting annoying...go away."

Azula clenched her fists and chucked a bright red fireball at Zuko, who disperses it with ease. "LISTNEN TO ME, YOU MORON!"

At that moment, Ursa burst into the room. "What is going on?!" She demanded. 

"Azula won't leave me alone! She keeps lying to me and throwing fire!" Zuko whined. 

Azula looked up at her mother, she felt tears well up and threaten to leak from her eyes. "I'm not lying. Father has been ordered to kill me. I need help." She tried to say as calmly as possible. Father said being hysterical will get you no where. It instead sounded distant and cold. 

"That's not something to joke about, young lady. Now go to your room. I don't want to hear another peep out of you." Ursa said coldly. Azula looked at her a moment and then just left the room. As she turned the corner she heard Ursa rushing to Zuko's side. "Are you alright, little turtleduck, did she hurt you?"

* * * * * * * * *

Azula sat awake in her bed that night, clutching the knife she had stolen from Zuko. The weakling didn't deserve a war trophy like this anyway. She didn't think she would need to use it against father, but she wanted to look like she was prepared to fight. Father appreciated signs of strength. 

Just past midnight Azula's drooping eyelids flew open at the sound of the door to her bedroom creaking open. There stood her father, still in his prince's robes. The points of his hairpiece cast a long jagged shadow over Azula's eyes. 

"Hello father." Azula said, quieter than she wanted. She wanted to sound confident. Sure. Strong. But she sees the whites of her father's eyes grow closer and her heart starts to race. 

"Daughter....I see you were expecting me." Azula gave a shaky nod, her knuckles squeezed tightly around the hilt of Zuko's dagger. Her father slowly raised his hand and pulled the dagger from her hand and dropped it on the floor beside her bed. She looked up at her father's distant cold eyes twinkle in the dark as his hand found it's way to her cheek. 

Her father was never one for affection. He's never hugged her. A firm shoulder squeeze is the most obvious he's ever been about showing his love. But to feel her father's firm, rough, palm against her cheek, all she can do is lean into the touch. 

That's when the flames burst from her father's hands. Bright, white hot fire leaped up her face. She quickly raised her arms, trying to push the fire away, cover her face, do something. But instead the fire found her hands. She let out a loud wail and rolled away from her father, her hands having caught with her father's flame. She dropped to the floor on the other side of the bed and wrapped her hands up in her sheets, suffocating the fire on her hands. 

She quickly scrambled out her bedroom window. It was difficult with raw, charred hands but she managed it. She landed face first in the dirt of a flowerbed. She screamed out from the pain in her face. 

She ran through the courtyard, to her brother's part of the palace and slipped into one of his windows, plopping onto the floor with a thud. She let out a hushed screech of pain as her face ached. She tried to search the dark parlor but one of her eyes felt cloudy. 

Her brother must have heard her less than subtle entrance, because his bedroom door opened swiftly. "Who's there? Come out if-- Azula?" He ran up to her, lighting a nearby lamp with his bending. In the soft orange light of his flame, Azula could see how truly raw and bloody her hands were. She never knew burns bled like this.

"Father....." Was all she could manage to get out from her scorched lips. Nothing felt right. The muscles in her face felt wrong. Stiff and barely held together at the same time. The pain from talking made her non-cloudy eye water. 

Zuko's eyes widened as he took her in. He just mutely nodded and gently helped Azula to her feet. He tried to grab her hands and quickly stopped when he saw how black and bloody they were. He helped her up by grabbing her under her armpits instead. He looked at her a moment, looking as if he was going to be ill but instead his look hardened. "Father did this?" He asked quietly but firmly. Azula just nodded. He looked at her another moment and then wrapped her up in his thin arms. "I am so sorry I didn't believe you earlier..." He whispered. Azula sucked in a jagged breath at that. 

He pulled back from his embrace and grabbed Azula's elbow gently. He sat her down on a chair in his parlor and rushed into his room. He quickly came out with a bag a set of clothes draped over his arm. "Okay...we need to get you into a room in one of the tunnels. You can hide there for a little bit while I get something for those--the burns..." He said slightly above a whisper. Azula was slowly realizing the ear on her scarred side really ached...and everything sounded...muted. 

While she thought about her possible hearing and sight loss, still somehow numb to the pain she knows she should be feeling, Zuko pulled back a couch and opened a trap door down to one of the many secret tunnels that hid under the fire palace. He gently lowered the bag down and then her, before deftly maneuvering, with an ease of obvious practice, to move the couch back over the hole and shut the trap door under it, keeping the escape route hidden. 

Azula flinched when her brother lit a flame in his hand to guide them. He didn't seem to notice but, the motion sent another wave of pain through Azula's body and she sucked in a breath to keep from screaming out. Zuko grabbed the bag he packed and the spare clothes, that seemed to be bland gray peasants clothes. She knew her brother liked sneaking out of the palace but she never really thought about all the work it took to do it as much as he did. 

She slowly swayed to a small hidden alcove not far from the entrance to Zuko's parlor. Zuko sat her down, the bag sitting next to her, hidden from view if anyone looked down the tunnel from the entrance. He crouched down. "Lala..." Azula couldn't fight the pain enough to be annoyed with the childish nickname. "I need you to change into these clothes, okay? can you do that or do you need help?" Azula looked at her burned sleep robes and nods. She can change....the clothes looked loose enough that they wouldn't hurt face. 

Zuko gives a soft smile. "Okay. I'm gonna go get you something for your burns, okay?" Azula nods and leans against the walls of the alcove. She looks up after the difficult task of removing her robes with burnt hands, to see her brother already gone. 

She carefully slid on the loose trousers and tunic, careful again not to touch her face. She pulled the sash around her as best as she could as she leaned against the cool brick of her hiding spot. Her hand could barely grip anything as it was, there was no way they were going to be able to be dexterous to tie a sash. She felt the dull aching in her face increase as she took slow deep breaths, waiting for her brother to return. 

After what felt like an eternity, Zuko's face came around the alcove and he saw her hands shaking, gripping the sash. He quickly pushed a good amount of what he was carrying on top of the bag and rushed to grab the sash and tie it for her. Once he felt it was secure he turned around and grabbed a jar of burn ointment and quickly, but thoroughly, again with a clear sense of practice, applied it to her hands and face. The stinging made her all too aware how little feeling she had in the burnt areas. 

Zuko quickly grabbed a roll of bandages and began wrapping her hands up to her sore wrists. He then cut off a large chunk of gauze with some scissors. He looked at her, his bright gold eyes, so much like father, if not for the raw concern flashing them, stared into her a moment. "Lala....you burnt a lot of hair but there's some that is hanging in front of the burn....I'm going to have to cut it....." Azula knew what that meant for her honor, but she was fleeing a death sentence, so why should she care? She simply nodded and he began to chop off what was left of her hair. 

He quickly gave a little bit more ointment to the areas more exposed by her missing hair before gently placing the gauze over her burn. It was a much bigger bandage than she expected.....with her cloudy eye covered everything felt a bit clearly, but not by much. The pain was exhausting her. The anxiety was exhausting her. She had to get away from the palace. 

Zuko held her shoulders gently a moment, steadying her, before grabbing a cloak he grabbed from some place and wrapped it around her shoulders. "I packed another set of clothes like the ones you're wearing and some dried foods I had in my rooms....There's also a small purse of gold in the bag so be careful about it okay, Lala?" She would normally needle him to find out how a prince just got his hand on a lose purse of gold but all she did was nod. "Let's get going. I'll get you to the docks....I only found there in these tunnels once so let's hope I know the way..." He say letting his sister wrap her arm around his shoulder to keep her from tipping over. 

* * * * * * * 

They somehow made it to the docks before sunrise. Zuko searched the shoreline and found only a few ships. He hoped one of them was going to the colonies so Azula can begin to get as far away as possible. He found a crew filing onto a larger steamer. A cargo ship like this will also likely have a infirmary. He covered Azula's head in the hood of the cloak and ran up to the man standing by the gangplank shouting for interested sailors. He saw Zuko, looked him up and down and then looked at the seemingly one eyed girl distantly stare at him. 

"What do you two want?" He asks gruffly. 

"Is this ship going to the colonies?" Zuko asks sharply. 

The man gave an unimpressed look. "Yeah....cargo only. No refugees." He says plainly. 

"What if I gave you fifty gold pieces?" Zuko held up a bag and janggled it. Some of the men going up the gangplank looked at the purse and the man brought it back down and hid it in his palm "I need you to take my sister to the colonies. She needs to make it there safe, and unharmed....and she needs a doctor...badly.." He says, a wobble coming in his voice. 

"What happened?" The man asked. His demeanor softened a bit. 

"Our father...." Is all Zuko got out before he dropped his eyes. "Look...she's not safe....she needs medical attention...take the fifty pieces and make sure she ends up someplace where maybe someone could take her in...."

The man sighed and pocketed the purse of gold. "Fine. Help get her set up. I'll lead you to the infirmary. Ship doctor just got on board. "Name's Riichi. I'm the first mate." He said simply, heading up the gangplank, looking back to see Zuko gently guiding Azula up. 

"Her name's Rina...." Zuko supplies noticing Azula slouching against him, clearly losing consciousness. "I need to get her set down quickly, she's not going to be able to stand up at all pretty soon."

They as quickly as they can make their way to the infirmary. The doctor seemed confused but saw the first mate open the door for a boy who laid a small burnt girl on her table. "What happened?"

Riichi simply replied. "Her name's Rina, and she's going to be our guest until we get to Yu Dao. " He said simply. "She was burned by her father and needs to get off the islands. Fix her up. Her brother here, paid us handsomely." Is all he said before turning and exiting through the still open door. 

Zuko watched as the doctor quickly went to check his sister's wounds. He saw Azula's eye flicker closed. It seemed she finally passed out. Her breathing was still slow. The doctor turned to Zuko. "I'll do what I can...." She said, solemnly.

Zuko nodded. "I have to get back home before our father notices I was gone....um--Tell her that her brother loves her, okay?" The doctor nodded in return and watched the boy run out the door and off the ship in an instant. 

The doctor began removing the bandage from the small girl's face. "Oh....poor girl...." Was all the doctor said before quickly washing her hands in a basin and setting about doing what she can.


	2. Chapter 2

The next time Azula woke, she could only see in one eye and the world felt like it was swaying and rocking. She assumed either she had a severe fever or was on a boat...perhaps both, since her head ached. She lifted her hands up in front of her eye and saw them wrapped in heavy bandages. The smell of burn ointment was overwhelming her, as she leaned over the side of her cot to vomit onto the floor. 

She heard a voice faintly on her burnt side. "Oh Agni! Well...guess you're awake." Azula rolled over to look at a woman staring at the pile of vomit on the floor. "Rina? dear?"

Azula suddenly realizes she's speaking to her. Of course Zuko would be unoriginal enough to use their own grandmother's name as her alias. Though, she supposed Zuko was never great at thinking on his feet. 

"Yes?" Her voice was dry and weak, and muffled by the bandage a bit. 

The woman quickly got a cup of water and gently held it up to Azula's mouth to drink while she spoke. "My name is Akane, the ship's doctor. Your brother has asked us to take you to the colonies. Um...your burns...they're....they're bad, dear." Azula let her empty the cup into her lips and leaned back staring up at the dingy metal ceiling above her. "I've given you quite a bit of pain killers over the last week you've been onboard--"

"I've been asleep a week?!" Azula rasped out toward the ceiling.

"Well you woke up a little...You were running a fever for a while but now you're fine, a normal temperature for a non-bender."

Azula turned her eye to the doctor still hovering near her bed. "I am a bender." She says quietly.

"Oh..." The doctor said, simply. "Well...we're about another week from Yu Dao....the first mate and I will help you find a place to go when we make shore...help you get your bearings...." Azula turns her eye back up above her and let out a long breath. 

"...Do you want to tell me exactly what happened?" Akane asked gently. "Your brother simply said your father....burnt you..."

"And what's it to you?" The former fire princess choked out. "He spared my life....he was kind enough to do that..." She muttered before rolling away from the doctor and closing her eye. She forced herself to ignore the doctor while she cleaned the floor and quietly left. Azula wouldn't let the woman see her cry.

* * * * * * * *

The doctor shook Azula awake around meal time and offered some broth or some such thing....Azula's stomach was too empty for her to be picky, so she accepted all the food they'll give her. She also asked for her bag, which she searched, delicately due to her bandaged hands, and found the purse of about twenty pieces of gold in a hidden pocket on the inside. She quickly stuffed it back inside and wrapped her arms around the bag of supplies and fell asleep. 

* * * * * * * *

Each time she woke up she made sure she had her bag. Made sure she still had what she needed in it...what Zuko had left her with....It had apparently been over a week since she left the homeland. It felt too soon to be homesick; Azula couldn't help the twisting sadness knowing she was slowly skating away from her home. In these moments she felt every bit the hurt eight year old she was. Alone, clutching what little she had left.

* * * * * *

Akane was quite concerned about the girl. She claims to be a firebender but she feels so cold. Akane could feel her own inner flame, feel her warmth, and generally, she could feel that same inner fire from other benders. That's why she assumed she was a non-bender and her temperature was normal, but....Oh what had that man done to this girl?

The doctor took each of her meals in the infirmary, brining Rina her own bowl of broth, which she could easily eat with her healing lips. The girl wrapped herself, and the bag of supplies her brother left her, in a thick wool blanket. 

"How old are you, Rina?" Akane asks watching the girl gently hold her bowl with her stiff and bandaged hands. 

She sniffed haughtily. Even knowing Rina as little as she did, she already knew the little girl had a lot of attitude and it was frankly adorable. "I am eight years, seven months and twelve days old...if you told me the right date earlier...." She says quietly and firmly. Everything outside of her night terrors came out as a hushed cold rasp. It was strange to hear from an eight year old. But the little smirk of pride at her own age made Akane smile. It was such a mundanely childish thing and it felt nice to see Rina act like a child even after she just went through. 

"Did you have any idea where you might be able to go when we get to the colonies? Do you have any relatives there or anything?"

Rina gave her a sharp look. Her one golden eye poking out from behind her bowl of broth. She slowly removed it from her lips. "No. I left my family in Caldera...." She stated simply. "All I have is this." She gestured with a nod down to the bag sitting between her legs. Akane, unsure of how to respond, gave a nod in return. 

After a brief moment of silence as Rina finished her soup, her small rasping voice took Akane's focus off her own meal. "How does it look?"

The doctor hated telling people awful news, but it was part of the job. But it was immensely harder when you have to give awful news to a child. A hurt child. She set her bowl down on the table beside her and looked at the girl. "The burns are quite severe...especially in your hands...also I think there may be some hearing and sight loss...."

The girl's golden eye swirls with a emotion she's not sure she's seen...it's distant and calculating, but desperate. She just laid back down and turns away. "Okay." Rina replies softly, before slipping into another fitful sleep. 

* * * * * * *

Riichi considered himself a practical man. It's that practicality that lead to his success both as a sailor and as a businessman. He never let his emotions cloud his judgement. He prided himself on being the logical one, the pragmatic one, the one that didn't take unneeded risks. It's kept him alive and doing decently well all things considered. Co owner in a shipping business and first mate on a cargo ship is a pretty good life, if you asked him. 

Then why did he just take that noble boy's gold? Was helping one badly hurt girl worth the possible trouble. Who ever they were getting her away from was powerful...and cruel. A powerful and cruel nobleman...He did NOT want to have to deal with someone like that....But he still looked at the small, shaking child clutching onto her brother with charred hands and couldn't say no. There was a doctor on board and he was leaving within the hour anyway. He couldn't look at her and then turn her away. Maybe Riichi was getting sentimental in his thirties. 

* * * * * * 

The powerful pain killing tea the doctor gave her left Azula in a constant cloudiness. Her thoughts were disconnected and wild, and her concentration was nearly nonexistent. More often than not she'd be listening to the doctor, trying desperately to stay awake, and suddenly be asleep. 

She supposed the cloudiness was preferable to the brief moments of clarity. Her father's eyes as he joyfully reached out to snuff his prized heir without a thought. The fire. Bright, hot, white fire. Fire is death. Fire is danger. She didn't want to be near the fire any longer she....

Then the clouds drift across her mind and she's suddenly thinking about how itchy the bandage over her eye and cheek is. Thinking about how slow and heavy her hands felt under the rolls of bandages. How comforting and warm her doctor's voice was....She tried to recall if she got her name. Did it matter? Could she repay her? Did she have to worry about that? Was she close to death? Why was so much of her body so numb?

Somewhere along the way she had said quite a bit of her ramblings out loud it seems, because the doctor was answering her last musing. She said something about nerve damage. That didn't sound good. Azula sucked in a deep ragged breath and suddenly felt the doctor gently holding her while good eye leaked traitorous tears. 

She was so weak.

* * * * * * * *

"Father! Please! No!" Riichi heard through the infirmary door, one night on his way to his quarters. The little burnt noble girl's raspy voice pierced his ears. He stopped, frozen where he stood a moment before his impulse took over and he quickly opened the door to see the poor girl thrashing on her cot, her open bag and few loose containers of fireflakes spread across the floor. Riichi rushed to her side. The girl was having one of the most intense nightmares he's ever seen. 

He steadied his hands and firmly, but gently put his hands on the small girl's shoulders and shook her. She sucked in a hitched breath as her one visible golden eye flickered open. It was glazed over with pain and medicine. Riichi almost felt like if he looked hard enough he could seen what was tormenting her in the surface of her eye. 

The first mate let out a long sigh and sat down on the edge of the girls' cot. Riichi never saw himself as fatherly. He was reaching the age where lot of the crew and some of his friends had kids, but he hadn't found the inclination to marry. His work on the sea and in business was his child....but when he saw that girl sniff and try not to cry, while she shook, he couldn't help but pull her into his arms and just sway with her until Akane came back in about twenty minutes later. 

He slowly drifted toward the door, returning the food to the girl's bag. The doctor heated up the pain killing tea for the girl. He watched her shiver a moment before pulling her blanket up to her chin with the edges of her fingers. She looked so small as Akane kneeled down to soothe the girl while the tea came to a boil. 

Riichi had no idea how long he stood there in the doorway that night, but he knew for certain, he might have to kill that girl's father.....


	3. Chapter 3

Once they reached Yu Dao Azula wasn't allowed to get up and head ashore with the others. Even after they had worked to unload the cargo, she was advised to stay in the infirmary with Akane for a couple more days. The ship would be load back down and head toward the home islands in a week, until then, Akane and Riichi were apparently her chaperones. 

The first steady steps on dry land made Azula, pathetically, proud. She barely had the strength to get off the cot most of the trip, much less take a walk. But here, on the sea salt worn docks of the industrial port of Yu Dao, Azula manages to stride along with very little assistance from either the ship's first mate or doctor. Her hands still ached and trembled, and her knees felt weak, and her face felt hot even though she knows it shouldn't....but she walking at least.

She ran the tips of her finger up through her choppy and short hair and pulled the hood of her cloak over her head. She let the doctor carry her bag for her. She would not let it out of her sight, but she didn't feel like digging her healing hands into the surface of the bag in a vain attempt to carry it with what little strength she still had in her arms. 

They reached the market near the wharf and Azula's legs were aching. She isn't sure why. Was it a lack of use? She even pondered if it was nerves. She was still fleeing a death sentence. She was a traitor. She.....

Suddenly they were sitting on the edge of a fountain and Akane was running her hands gently along her upper arms. "Rina? We're going to sit down for a moment okay? Did you need a pain killer?"

Azula just shook her head and tried to let the feeling of the woman's hands ground her. She felt so weak. Distant. She couldn't stop herself from laying the unscarred, right side of her face against Akane's shoulder as she sucked in breaths. 

After some moments, she leaned away from Akane and dipped her head against her chest. "Sorry..." Azula rasped out.

The doctor gave her the smile she's only seen on mother's face when she was comforting Zuko. A sad, but warm smile. A comforting smile. Azula hadn't the faintest clue the last time anyone looked at her like that. "It's okay, Rina. No need to be sorry. We can find a place to sit and rest. Maybe get some food? How does that sound?" She punctuated her question with a small, gentle pat on her shoulders. 

Azula just nodded. "Great." Akane replied. Suddenly Azula noticed she wasn't sure who had her supply bag. Her one unbandaged eye widened. Akane must have noticed her distress before she could verbalize it, because she gently turned her toward her burnt side, to the ship's first mate who was right there kneeling down next to her, his hand still holding her bag. "It's okay, see? Riichi has it." She nodded again after a moment, and let out a long breath. Akane slowly got off the edge of the fountain and helped Azula to her feet. "Let's check out that ramen place across the street."

"Sounds good to me!" Riichi supplied, wiping the dirt off the knees of his trousers before picking up Azula's bag. "It alright if I keep this safe for you, kid?" The man asked. He was still on her burnt side so Azula had to strain to listen to him. She turned around to look at him and nodded. He, without prompting, moved in clearer view, next to Akane as they walked across the street at her slow, staggered pace.

* * * * * * *

Akane watched as Rina carefully slurped up the broth around the noodles in her bowl of ramen. She manages to get some of the noodles around the bandage and pull them into her mouth, but in the process, get her unscarred cheek covered in broth. Without much thought Akane put down her chopsticks, grabbed a napkin and dabbed at the mess on the child's face. She made a little indignant noise, like any kid would when being fussed with. It made Akane smile, even as she kept at cleaning Rina's face. "Hold still, Rina, dear. You got some broth on you. I know we have to change these bandages, but try not to splash your whole bowl on it, okay?" 

Rina pouted and scowled. "Fine..." The girl huffed out. She leans back and lets Akane finish up getting rid of the bits of food on her face. Riichi was chuckling at the grumpy look on the girl's face. "What are you laughing about, you have teriyaki on your nose." 

Akane looked at Riichi and sure enough he had a dab of teriyaki sauce on his nose. He quickly checked and then wiped at his face with his own napkin. "How'd you even manage that?" Akane asks with a laugh. 

"I don't know! I....hey! Get back to embarrassing, the kid! That was much more fun!" Riichi jokingly argues. 

That gets a wheezing laugh out of Rina as she continues slurping up her ramen. 

* * * * * *

Azula left the ramen shop with her chaperones on her good side. She insisted she was strong enough, now to hold her own bag. Having servants carrying her things was normal for Azula...but that was when she was royalty...when she had things beyond the things in her bag and on her back. Now material goods were precious. 

The doctor was saying something quietly to the first mate, not as though she were keeping a secret and more like how sometimes adults just felt like children didn't need to hear something. It made her frustrated. She deserved to know as much as any adult. 

Suddenly the first mate spoke. "So! Rina! One of my sisters-in law lives around here and I spoke to her the day after we arrived and said there were maybe a few families near her that might wanna take in a kid! "

Azula turned to look at the man. He was giving her a warm smile. She felt a weird tingling in her stomach at the thought of someone taking her in. She wasn't certain what the feeling meant. She nodded even though he didn't really ask a question. 

He smiled brighter. "Well, alright! Let's head over her way, then?" Azula nodded again. She felt Akane gently hold her upper arm, as she guided her over some uneven cobblestone. 

They made their way further down toward the center of the market. As they made a slow turn around a few gathering of stalls Azula caught sight of the dozens of posters on the walls all around her. Bright crimson common script. A name. Her name. Her portrait. 

_WANTED! DEAD OR ALIVE!_

_FORMER PRINCESS AZULA_

_FOR THE MURDER OF FIRE LORD AZULON_

Azula froze. She looked up at the wall of her old face. Now they say she's a kinslayer. They think she's a kinslayer. She wasn't.....She had to get out of the colonies. She had to get away. She needed to leave now. She pulled herself from Akane's gentle grasp and ran. Ran as fast as she could. 

* * * * * *

"RINA!" Akane shouted. Riichi stopped in his tracks and looked behind him. Akane was running back toward the crowded part of the market. Riichi looked around and noticed Rina was nowhere in sight. She was just gone. He ran after Akane and found her standing still as people weaved around her. 

"Where'd she go?!" Riichi asked, frantically. He just kept searching around for any sign of the little girl. 

Akane let out a long breath and clenched her fists. "I don't know....Come on...We have to try and find her." She said firmly as they split up and run along the market calling her name. They kept looking for the girl's slow, tired gait, her long black cloak, the girl's stark white bandages....anything.....By nightfall they lost any trace of her. 

The walk back to the ship was quiet.


	4. Chapter 4

Azula found herself squeezed, uncomfortably, into the small storage part of a river boat. Her hands ached from carrying her supply bag the six miles to the river. She curled in on herself and tried to stop herself from trembling. She was a fugitive....why did she let herself believe it would be so easy?

The first mate and doctor thought she could just blend in with some random group of peasants and she'd be safe. She was a fool to think that might be true. She was so weak....weak and cold...it's been years since she's felt actually cold. Her inner fire usually kept her warm in all weather. A burning warmth in the pit of her stomach that was her only real constant companion.

But it's gone. She didn't feel a spark. The doctor thought she was a nonbender, and not that of royal bloodline of elite benders.....Now, wrapped up in her dirty black cloak, shivering, she felt like the nonbending peasant she must look to everyone who caught her eye on her quick retreat from the port of Yu Dao. 

The boards of the ship's deck above her creaked as she heard someone moving toward the back of the boat. Azula tried to still her shaking. Her face ached. Her bandage was soaked in sweat and drips of river water from the beams above her head. She knew she had to change it and apply what little burn ointment she had still in her travel bag, but the storage area was so moist and stuffy that she felt afraid to take the bandage off. She's dealt with burns from sparring--and father--before, but nothing like this. She had no idea what she was doing. 

She clenched her good eye closed and rocked, as she felt tears slide down her cheek. She was so Agni-damned cold....

She shook until she fell asleep. 

* * * * * * *

Azula awoke with a start to the sound of the hatch to the storage area opening. She saw a boy's head duck down in front of her. He was pointed away from her as he reached his arm down to grab a length of rope and drag it up with him. As he disappeared back out of view, Azula had hoped he wouldn't notice her, but as he began to shut the hatch he caught her one golden eye staring up at him. 

He just stared at her for a moment, seemingly trying to make sure he was actually seeing a girl curled up in the small space they, apparently, kept spare rigging for the sails. "Oh crap...I think we just accidently smuggled a little girl..." He mutters to himself and then straightens up, before dashing off along the deck. 

Azula felt to tired and sore to really put up a fight. She hoped who ever ran this ship would take the pouch of gold for their troubles. She'd hate to give up her only funds so soon, but she can't seen another option. She was stuck. She was at the mercy of the people of this ship. 

Soon a pair of faces were looking down at her. A gruffer middle aged woman and a younger man. They didn't look angry...mostly surprised. They gave each other a look and the man kneeled down. "Hi there, miss! Seems you decided to hitch a ride, hmm?" Azula just looked up at him, clutching her bag. "Is it alright if I pull you out of there?" Azula stared a moment more before hesitantly nodding. The man smiled warmly and extended his arms gently and picked Azula up by her armpits and gently placed her onto the deck, before snapping the hatch shut. 

Azula's hands trembled as she held the bag against her chest. "So, what you doing down there, little one?" The man asked looking her up and down in the bright early afternoon sunlight. They were drifting down a river with light forest on either side of the banks. Based on what that boy said when he discovered her she had passed into Earth Kingdom territory. She assumes, just past the eastern border of the colonies, but not so far inland as to reach the more arid parts of the Earth Kingdom. 

Completing his examination of her, the man's warm smile got a bit more sad. "...you're hurt. Bad..." He states plainly. Azula thinks if she wasn't so tired and sore, and had two good eyes, she'd be rolling them. 

"Yes." Azula just rasps out. She drops her head down. Keeping her self from slouching down until she collapsed was difficult. Her arms were shaking. "Burns." She adds. The man just nods, while the woman looks at the darken tips of Azula's fingers. 

"Well....My name is Bo! This is my mom, Ming! My cousin, Kai found you!" His smile grew once more and gestured widely to the air around him. "Welcome to the Earth Kingdom!" 

Azula looked down at her feet as she swayed. "Can....I sleep somewhere?" Azula asks softly. "I--I don't feel good...." Suddenly Azula's vision darkened and she hit the deck with a thud.

* * * * * *

Ming has been fishing this river since she was five years old. She trained her son and daughter in it, and now has her nephew on the crew. They had to keep an eye out for fire nation, who often would harass her for 'inspections' until she paid them off and was allowed to sail back toward her home in what is still (barely) the earth kingdom. 

She also was known to smuggle her share of refugees fleeing through Yu Dao. Usually it was something you had to arrange with her through her son, but she supposed the spirits decided to save him the trouble and threw a sad, hurt little fire nation girl in her ship's hold. They had brought her back to the small area with a little bed set up there for long voyages down river. She looked flushed and exhausted.

They delicately took off the bandages on her hands and face. The burns looked awful but like they were healing well enough considering. They grabbed their first aid kit, applied some burn ointment and rewrapped her wounds. She was so cold. Ming tossed the thickest blanket they had on board onto the girl. It would still be a few hours before they were back at her place, hopefully the girl could get some decent sleep.

She didn't. Instead, after an hour, she shot up with a rough, shaky scream. She simply yelled for her father not to hurt her, felt her now dry bandage on her face and stared at Ming. She stared for a long moment before laying back down and turning her back to her and shaking. The girl was crying and trying not to let the stranger see. 

Ming took the hint and left to go back out on deck. She looked back at the girl let out near silent wails a moment before leaving, shutting the door behind her. 

* * * * * *

Azula felt the small riverboat come to stop and saw the boy hop off the boat onto the dock and tie a rope around the pole near the edge. Azula slowly stood up, feeling the bag by her feet. She clumsily made her way out on deck and was suddenly lifted under armpits onto the dock. She looked back and saw the man smiling at her. "Let's get you something to eat, huh?" He says before hopping up onto the deck himself, followed by his mother. "Hope you like fish." He adds. 

Azula nods, even though she wasn't sure he actually wanted her opinion. He gently held out his hand. "Can I hold that for you? That can't feel good on your hands." She takes a moment to think then lets him carry her bag while they walked to the small hovel on the bank. There are a few sheepgoats in a pin, and a hogchicken coop. There was, what looked like to be a smokehouse. "My sister is watching the place today, and smoking some fish to sell." The man says simply. 

The place was small. It seemed to be just three rooms. A kitchen with a table, and two rooms for sleeping. Azula stumbled over to a chair and sat down. She slumped back and closed her eye. She heard some soft talking, probably a quick explanation of the situation. Azula was still too tired and in too much pain to care. Even after nearly three weeks her wounds still hurt. And itched. And filled her with shame.

"Dear?" A young woman kneeled in front of Azula. She wasn't sure when she got there. Azula looked at her. "My name is Lan, what's your name?"

"R--Rina." Azula says, her throat feeling intensely dry. The woman ladles out a cup of water for her from a barrel near the door. Azula drinks down the water quickly and is soon handed another full cup. "Th-thank you..." Azula said simply, dipping her good eye down to her hands sitting limply in her lap, while the woman took the cup. 

"Can...can you tell us what happened?" The woman, gently put a hand on Azula's leg in a gesture probably to reassure her, but instead it made her recoil. The woman, Lan, pulled her hand away quickly. Her smile didn't falter. "Rina....what happened?"

Azula looked away from the woman's bright green eyes and let out a wheezing breath. "My--father burned me..." She admitted softly. 

The woman gave that, until recently, uncommon look of concern. It still made Azula feel dirty...feel broken. It felt like people could tell she used to be powerful and now was nothing. A lost hurt little girl. It made her angry, and to her dismay...relieved. She hated how it made her feel. She hated herself.

"You know that was an awful thing he did...right?" The man from the riverboat's voice came vaguely from Azula's burnt side. She mutely nodded in response. She knew these peasants wouldn't understand the ironclad power the word of a firelord held. Her grandfather demanded her death and her father tried to fulfill that demand....and she survived and fled....like a coward.

"That's not important now..." Azula said as loudly as she could muster. "....what are you going to do with me?" She asked simply.

She watched the woman look at her mother and brother. "We know a place about forty miles inland....it takes in orphans...would you like to go there? We'd take you in, but we can't care for you and do all the chores we need done, but the women at the orphan's home can."

"They're great by the way! Really sweet! Plus you'll be able to be around kids your own age!" The man supplied. "You'll be safe there."

Azula looks down at her bandaged hands. "You know I'm fire nation....right?" The woman and man nod. She takes a moment to think over her options...which are....nonexistent. She did still have her pouch of gold but she supposed that could be an emergency fund in case this 'orphan's home' turned out too good to be true. She finally nodded. "Fine. I'll go...." Her stomach rumbled. "Can I have that fish now?"

That got a laugh from the man as he went out back to grab some smoked fish.


	5. Chapter 5

Azula looked up at the cloudless sky above her as she felt the cart hit a hole in the road. She let out a sigh as her body was jostled around for a moment. She could vaguely feel Lan walking beside her. She could hear the light clomping of the sheepgoats' steps as it pulled the cart. The rhythm in theory should have been soothing, but instead it was just annoying. Everything felt annoying. The sun, the dust in the air, the itchiness of the bandage on her face, the pain in her hands....She just wished she could make it all go away. She wanted to close her eye and just have everything disappear. 

Her mind suddenly turns to Zuko. She wondered if he was alright. Was he caught sneaking back into the palace? Did he really think she had killed grandfather? Did anyone believe that? Mother most certainly would. She instantly believed the worst about her. She would be thrilled to see how weak and pitiful she's become, that's for sure. 

Father made a shrewd move killing Azulon....and blaming her. It...hurt--but it made sense -- everything her father did made sense. Her father was brilliant and had the will to do what was necessary. The tips of her fingers found their way to the edge of the bandage on her face, as she thought about her father's handiwork. He seemed to take such pleasure in fulfilling the firelord's order. It made Azula's stomach feel lurch and she wasn't certain why.

It suddenly dawned on Azula that Lan was talking to her. "...for game sometimes and I'd say I'm a pretty good shot."

"What?" Azula asked. She had no context for what little she was able to process. 

"I was just sayin', I got my bow with me and I hoped we'd see some small game to cook. I brought some onions and carrots for a stew if we find a squirrelrabbit or somethin'."

"Oh....Okay...I--I wasn't listening....I..."

Azula saw her pick up her pace a bit to get into eye line of her, and then give her a gentle dismissive wave when Azula moved to sit up. "It's fine. You keep restin'. And that's okay! You probably are hurtin' a lot! I wish we had pain killer herbs back at the house...but the good news is the place your going to definitely will. One of the women that runs it is a healer." 

"What sort of healer? An herbalist?" Azula wheezed out, shifting her weight, trying to avoid letting her legs fall asleep. The hard wood of the shabby cart made a very uncomfortable place to rest. Lan had insisted she not walk. Azula wasn't weak....but her legs were. She made it about four miles before she nearly collapsed and climbed into the cart next to her bag of supplies. 

"Herbalist, yeah. Meihui, she's the town's healer as well as the orphan's home. It's not a big place but she seems to get enough business to keep the house up and running. Her lady friend, Jiao, runs the place mostly. She's the one you'll see the most."

"Hmm...." Azula merely hummed to show she was listening and pulled her hands up to block the high sun. If her inner fire were with her right now, it would be burning at it's hottest right then. "Do you drop off orphaned refugees often?" Azula asked.

That got a hearty chuckle out the peasant woman. "I don't know if often is the right word. I took a boy out there around the new year....last time I was there for that. I come out to their way once or twice a month for tools and supplies, and such. I usually come by and check in with the gals and the kids when I'm there..."

Azula let her eye close and she drifted off to dream of a world where her mother cared half as much about her as Lan seemed to care about these random children. When she woke up she felt angry and she couldn't say why. 

* * * * * *

Lan let the string go and watched the arrow pierce a dying tree at the edge of the clearing. Rina was planted near the fire, complaining to herself about the cold. It was nearly spring, and getting warmer, but apparently not warm enough for someone from the fire nation, it seemed. The girl clutched her cloak around herself and just stared at the fire. Lan sighed and put on her best smile.

"Hey kid! Wanna learn how to shoot? It'll be a while until that stew's done and maybe learnin' something will...I don't know...Get your mind off of things?" She watched Rina turn her one visible eye on her for a moment before she slid further down the log she was sitting on so she was closer to the archer. Lan figured that was as close to an answer as she'd get she held her bow in front of her. "I know you can't shoot one right now, but who knows? One day you might wanna pick up the art! Plus it never hurts to know stuff, right?" The girl firmly nodded. She was a smart kid, she could tell, always thinking....and probably reliving things she rather not.

"First step is you find what position works. You want to find a position where if you had to you could just fire off your whole quiver without having to move from it. Keep it relaxed but stable." She exaggerated her position a little and raised the bow up. "You got the string, the bow...there is a little notch here for placing the arrow, see?" She watched Rina lean in a little and then nod. Lan pulled out an arrow from the quiver on her back. "You wanna put the string here, on the arrow, and notch it like this." Lan carefully went over the notching the arrow and how eventually muscle memory handles it and you can load arrow after arrow without taking your eyes off of the target. She showed the girl how to hold the bow, how to aim, how much strength it took to fire. 

She launched off a shot and hit the same dead tree across the clearing. "And that's the full process!" Lan grinned looked at Rina. Her eye was narrowed. She was hard at work, thinking again. She then whispered a quiet and raspy 'thank you', then turned her eye back to the fire. 

After another few minutes of target practice, Lan picked up all her arrows and put away her bow. She sat and stirred the stew for a little while, mentally running over any hazards she saw on her last trip toward town. She was lost thinking about the rocks she might have to clear tomorrow morning, when they reach the little bend about five miles down the road, when Rina suddenly spoke. "Have you ever killed someone?"

Lan stilled a moment, then went back to stirring the squirrelrabbit stew. "Why do you, ask, Rina?"

The girl gave a slow, lazy shrug. "You mentioned firing your whole quiver....I thought...you either trained to be a marksman....or learned to be one....but not for hunting..." The girl's voice was quiet and monotone. "...I feel like you can handle yourself, whatever you are..."

Lan put the lid back on the pot and turned to look at Rina. "Yes...My father was an archer in the Earth Kingdom Army....He taught me to shoot. How to fight. How to defend my mother and later my brother....I've killed fire nation and bandits....I've shot to kill. That's why I'm so good with the bow."

There was a long moment where the only sound was the crackling of the fire. 

"Thank you." Rina finally said. "I feel safer not being watched over by a coward." She moved off the log and laid down, her back to the fire. 

* * * * * *

That night, about an hour after they had put out their campfire and curled up next to the wagon, and the already sleeping sheepgoat, Azula had just barely begun to doze off. Then she heard a noise faintly from her burned side, near the smoldering firepit. Near where their bags were. Azula went to sit up, but she felt a hand stop her. She turned to see Lan looking at her. Her bright green eyes, looking dark and gray under the moonlight. 

The woman put a finger to her lips, signaling her to be quiet. She swiftly, but silently grabbed her bow (she supposed she slept with it near her, but Azula was too out of it to notice her bringing her weapon to her bed roll) and an arrow. Azula watched as she notched the arrow, while still laying on her side. Then in an instant she sat up, her arms in position to fire and let her shot go. 

Azula followed the flight of the arrow in the air and was stunned to see a large man with a knife just a couple yards away from her falling to the ground, the tail of the arrow sticking out from his throat. He dropped his weapon, let out a gargled, bubbling noise and slumped over. Without the looming figure in front of her, Azula could see his two accomplices rummaging through their packs.

The former princess' eye went immediately to where her bag was. The two living thieves noticed their cohort's demise and quickly set about running away. That's when Lan charged to her feet and let off another shot. This one stuck the one stealing their bag of cookware and tools. He staggered back and then ran at Lan. Azula tried to will herself to stand up. To say anything. To move at all. 

But she couldn't. She was frozen. Just like when father came to kill her. All she could was watch as Lan shot off three more quick arrows right into the chest of one of the thieves. She quickly turned to find the last thief, but he had, seemingly, disappeared into the tree line. 

Suddenly, Azula's legs found her. She swayed up to her feet and ran up next to Lan who was picking up her pack. "My bag!" Azula shouts out. She feels tears in her good eye. "It--that's all I had left....it had---all my money was in there...my--fireflakes....." Azula drops to her knees and sobs. Lan kneels beside her and holds her. "I have nothing left..." Azula whispered into Lan's shoulder.

After a long while of Azula pressing herself against the woman, she leaned back and made her way back to her bed roll and clenched her eye shut. She heard Lan drag the men's bodies behind the tree line and check on the sheepgoat. 

"Well....Chao looked a little spooked, but otherwise fine. The cart wasn't touched yet, so we still got plenty of veggies and stuff still...." The woman said, trying to sound cheerful. Trying to be positive....Azula couldn't be positive anymore. She wasn't allowed it. 

She felt the archer sit next to her. "Rina....It's okay...I'll make sure the ladies at the home give you new clothes and take care of your wounds. I know--It's been really hard...." Azula scoffs. "Okay, really really hard...but....you're still alive right? And those guys didn't hurt us....I wouldn't let them. I promise you. I won't let anyone hurt you, if I can help it."

If Azula hadn't already spent the whole night sobbing, she would have just then. She's had overzealous guards and nannies promise to protect her... She used to bristle at that, insist she didn't need anyone's protection. She was powerful. She was beyond need for protection....Then her father came to her in the night.

As the sun rose over the trees, Azula rolled over, clutched onto Lan's knee and begged her to promise it to her again.


	6. Chapter 6

The village of Nèi xǐng was tucked in and along jagged foothills, dense with tall trees. Azula estimated it had a population of just over a thousand people. A little stop off point to get supplies or a nice tea, before continuing on your journey over the mountains on the road to Ba Sing Se. Azula sat in the back of the cart, staring at the few people out and about. She saw how they eyed her suspiciously. She looked distinctly fire nation. 

Lan lead the sheepgoat down the main road and past the market. It was a decent sized place with a dozen different stalls selling food and trinkets. The merchants greeted Lan with bright, wide smiles. Until they saw Azula, then their smiles faded. 

"Meihui is probably at her office here. I think we better stop off there first and let her have a look at you. Maybe change your bandages. How does that sound?" Azula gave a soft affirmative noise and tried to ignore the twisting dread the stares were giving her. "Great!"

The office was small. It was on corner past the market, a little sign hanging from a two story building. Lan lead the cart to a stop outside and tied up her sheepgoat. She helped Azula down out of the cart and gently guided her inside. 

"Hey Meihui!" Lan shouted as surveyed the empty waiting area, helping Azula take a seat on a chair by the door. Lan kneeled down next to Azula and pulled a water skin from her waist. "Need water, Rina?" Azula nodded and let Lan squeeze a few chugs of water into her mouth. 

"Thank you..." Azula said, softly. She wondered if her throat will ever stop hurting. She's noticed how sore her lungs are...if she could still feel her inner flame, she doubted she'd have enough breath control to produce a flame much bigger than the size of a matchstick. She suddenly felt Lan's hand running circles on her back. She must have looked lost. 

Her head hurt so much...

* * * * * *

Meihui heard Lan's shout and came down from her small upstairs office and out into the waiting area. She saw the small girl in the cloak sitting next to Lan and instantly her heart sank. Another hurt and lost child. Meihui took a quick steading breath, and put on her soft bedside-manner- smile. "Hello, Lan. It's been a while. And who do we have here?"

The girl's golden eye darted up to take her in. The girl studied her. Meihui let herself take the girl in, in return. Her hands looked awful. "This is, Rina." Lan supplied, her usual loud and boisterous voice softened for Rina's sake. "She had to get away from home...and we were hoping you and Jiao could take her in?" 

"Of course. We have have plenty of room." Meihui replied. She wasn't surprised that was where this was going. She gave Lan a soft smile and kneeled down so she was eye level with the little girl. "Rina? Did you want to come with me into the next room and I can take a look at how you're healing up?" The girl furrowed her brow and nodded. 

Meihui watched as the little girl staggered slowly next to Lan into her examination room. Lan gently helped Rina up onto the table and went about taking the bandages off of Rina's hands. The woman was delicate as she unwrapped them, exposing the bright red jagged burns that came up to her wrists. The girl's hands were dangling there, seemingly nearly useless. Rina let out a hiss of pain as she wiggled her fingers a little, to show she had some movement in them. 

Lan next took down the girl's hood, exposing her choppy, short hair. She gingerly removed the bandage from the left side of the girl's face. The same rough, bright red flesh surrounded the girl's eye and up to her ear. Rina's left eye was cloudier and duller than her right. Meihui would be surprised if the girl sees more than vague color and shapes from it again. 

"Alright, Rina. I'm going to put some burn ointment on it. It looks like it's healing as best as can be expected." Meihui softly sighed as she quickly made her way into her herb store and grabbed the bottle of ointment. Every burned child she saw, still shook her...Even after living her whole forty years of life in war....She wasn't an innately emotional person, but she wanted to just scream each time she had to see another child hurt by the Fire Nation. 

She kneeled down and began applying the ointment to Rina's hands. She was as careful as she could be adjusting her hands to see their range of movement. It wasn't much. Rina seemed to find rotating her wrists very difficult. The unscarred part of her face scrunched up in pain and concentration. "Dear, don't strain yourself, okay?"

Rina just nodded and let her hands drop into her lap. Meihui moved on to applying ointment to her face and ear. The skin was rough and tight. "You'll probably only need to wear bandages another week or so...How long ago were you burned?"

"Almost a month..." Rina softly said. Her voice was small and hoarse. The girl didn't seem to be running a fever, but she looked exhausted. She probably needed to crawl up into a bed and sleep for a few days, that'd be her first recommendation. "I'm a firebender." The girl rasps out.

Meihui was confused for a moment. Weren't firebenders supposed to be very hot to the touch? The girl was staring up at her. Seeing her mismatched eyes look up at her, Meihui turned her bedside manner up a little more. She smiled as warmly as she could as she spoke. "That's alright dear. You're still welcome at the home. Now, let's get a fresh bandage on you, okay?" The little fire nation girl nodded.

* * * * * * * 

The orphan's home was a relatively large house on the edge of town. The property was littered with small, and dense gardens of flowers. and a hogchicken coop sat just behind the house. It was nearly the last stop before the road lead into denser forest as it wound over the mountains. She felt Lan's hand on her upper arm, helping support her weak frame as they approached the door.

Lan gently rapped on the door, and a short chubby middle aged woman greeted them with a bright smile. Azula assumed this was Jiao, but she couldn't bring herself to care. Her headache was so intense and all she wanted to do was sleep.

"Hi there, Jiao! This is Rina....Meihui said you got room for one more?" Jiao nodded and gestured for them to come inside. She might have said something, but Azula was too lost in a mental haze to listen. Azula let herself be set into a bed in a large room full of other beds. Azula was vaguely aware of a few other kids in the room, but her vision was dimming. 

Jiao kneeled down next to her. "Hi Rina. I'm Jiao. Did you want me to make you something to eat? We just had lunch so there's some left overs I can fix you. "

Azula just looked at her hands. "....I--I......My head hurts....Can I sleep instead?

The older woman put a gentle hand on her knee and gave a little squeeze. "Of course, dear. Sleep all you need. I'll let the other kids know to be quiet in here, okay?" Azula just nods and slowly lowered herself down and clenched her eye close. She heard the sound of soft footsteps disappearing and let out a long sharp breath.

As sleep finally took her, she realized she never said goodbye to Lan.


	7. Chapter 7

Azula awoke in the dark. She sat up as fast as her sore body would allow and saw a good number of the beds in the room were now occupied with sleeping children. Azula sighed and shivered. She felt so cold. She saw the fire in the small wood stove still burning in the corner. She grabbed her blanket, delicately between her wrists, and slowly staggered over in front of the stove. She watched the soft yellow flames dance, while she curled herself up in her blanket as tight as she could. 

The heat lapped against her skin, but it didn't feel like it soaked to her bones. She shivered and watched the embers jump wildly and land back in the softly swirling flames. The dance of fire....the movement....power.....life....destruction...Azula clenched her eye shut and shook her head. She had to get the fire out of her head. She needed father's fire gone from her head. It's on her face. She can't stop it! How does she stop it?!

Azula felt a hand touch her shoulder and she recoiled from it sharply. She looked up and saw Jiao staring down at her, her worried stare illuminated by the warm fire light. "Rina? Are you alright, dear?"

Azula turned back to the fire and pulled her knees up to her chest. "Fine." She replied stiffly, the edge of her bandage rubbing against her open mouth. The faint taste of burn ointment grazed her lip. 

"Well...I just put the others to bed an hour ago....did you want that meal before you head back to sleep? I'm sure you haven't eaten in a while."

Azula watched the embers spark off the crackling wood and somehow felt even colder. She was hungry...she knew she was. She felt the deep emptiness in her gut. But, something made her nauseous. This swirling mix of shame, anger, fear and immense grief twisted in her belly and it made her want to shut down any talk of food. But instead of declining like her mind was strangely screaming out for her to do, she simply nodded and watched Jiao smile brightly, as she went off to gather something for her. 

Jiao returned quickly with some cold rice and meager bits of meat. Azula couldn't turn her nose up at it, because it smelt like food and that's all she needed. She quickly found that chopsticks were impossible to use right now, her hands felt so raw and numb, she couldn't move her fingers like she wanted to. She let out a growl and looked back at the fire in front of her, then looked up to see Jiao was walking around the room checking on the other children as they slept. 

Without her new caretaker's attention on her, Azula chucked the chopsticks into the flames with whatever strength she had and set about eating the bowl without utensils. She found herself scarfing the food down like an animal, bite after bite, right out of the bowl clamped between her wrists.

"Rina! Dear! Slow down. You'll choke!" She heard Jiao faintly from her burnt side, say. The woman gently took Azula's bowl out of her clutches and set it on the floor next to her. Azula furrowed her brow and stared at her, as she slowly chewed the vast amount of rice still in her mouth. "There....much better...."

"My way was working..." Azula said, after swallowing down the last of the food in her mouth. Jiao gave her a soft little smile and shook her head. She picked the bowl back up, a few bites worth still in it. 

"What happened to the chopsticks?" Jiao asked, her brow raising in confusion. Azula simply looked at her a moment and turned her head back to the fire. Jiao followed her gaze and realized what she was implying. "Oh, Rina....please don't throw things into the fire. It's dangerous....plus if you find you can't use the chopsticks, ask me and I can help feed you."

Azula was no longer listening. She had grown lost in the crackling embers again and simply mumbled, "...I feel so cold..."

She doesn't know when or how, but she ended back in her bed. 

* * * * * *

Hop had never seen a fire nation person in his whole six years of life. His mom had warned him about them, told them what they looked like, told him to look out for men with jet black hair, wearing red, with golden eyes, but he never saw them. Even when he had to leave his village on that last day he saw his family. All he ever saw was smoke.

The girl in the bed next to his just showed up yesterday, and already he wanted to know everything about her. She had a bright golden eye. Her short choppy hair was a dark black. He wondered if she bent fire. Hop wasn't a bender....at least he didn't think he was. Miss Jiao said he's getting a little old to suddenly become one, which is fine by him. He could run faster than any of the other kids, even the earthbender kids, and that gave him a leg up. 

The Fire Nation girl's eye flickered open and then she shot straight up. She turned her head to look around with her one good eye, and Hop found it land square on him. To be fair, he was staring, but how could he not?! She was interesting! He leaned forward and smiled. 

"Hi! I'm Hop! I'm six! How old are you?!" He practically shouted. People said he was loud. The girl didn't flinch like a lot of the kids do when he's excited. She merely just scowled at him. 

"My name is Rina....you're loud. Even with one good ear." She says flatly. The Fire Nation girl--Rina-- his new friend is named Rina-- slid off her bed, her hands dangling limply at her sides. Her arms were covered in bandages. Hop had seen people with burns....but not people still with the bandages on.

"What happened to your arms?" He looked up at her, his eyes wide, and his volume lowered into a whisper. "...and face?"

Rina looks down at him, her scowl still planted on her face. "I was a coward..." She said quietly. Older kids are always confusing. She walked stiffly over toward the stove and sat in front of it. The other kids were still sleeping, the sun was barely up, so it was just him and Rina. "And it's rude to ask that..." She said softly. Her voice was so rough, it sounded like when her mom pretend to be a spirit when she read old stories to him at night before bed. 

"Sorry." Hop said, plopping down next to Rina, and looking at the fire. They sat there in awkward silence for a long moment. "...Did you get burnt?"

The girl let out a long, jagged sigh. "Yes. Now shut up. I'm trying to meditate."

"Oh. Sorry." He whispered. He looked at her watch the fire from her good side. Her golden eye looked like the same color as the flames. A bright gold. "Your eye is pretty!" He says, Rina turning to look at him, her eyebrow raised. "It looks like fire!"

Rina turned away and dropped her head. "...I'm a firebender."

"Oh cool! I'm a non-bender! My mom said it 'didn't make me less good'. " Hop said with a small smile. His new friend's face contorted into an expression he couldn't read. Suddenly, Rina got to feet and walked quickly out the back door into the garden, leaving a confused Hop reeling on the floor. 

* * * * * *

Azula kicked a clod of dirt, dust flying into the crisp air, the swirling pinks and oranges of sunset over the trees. That boy didn't know when to shut the hell up. It was clear she wanted to be left alone. She didn't want to have to listen to some stupid non bending earth peasant rattle off his stupid questions. She wanted....something...

She wanted to feel her inner flame. She wanted to be safe and warm. She used to not worry about those things. They were a given. She was the perfect princess, Azula of the Fire Nation, the most powerful nation on earth. There were men and women hired just to die protecting her. There was always a fire in her gut and the heat of the island to remind her she was a living blaze. Powerful. Destructive. Commanding. Strong.

But here....like this...She wasn't even Azula. She was Rina. Rina can't even seem to make a spark. Rina was weak...She needed help feeding herself....Rina couldn't see out of her left eye.....hear out of her left ear....Rina wasn't Azula.....But Azula wasn't even Azula anymore....

The former princess slumped against the trunk of a plum tree, the fallen blossoms littering the ground under her. She pulled her knees up to her chest and started to sob.


	8. Chapter 8

Over the next few days Azula picked up the routine of the Orphan's Home. Jiao seemed to look after the children most, preparing their meals and chatting with them, reading to them, looking out for them as they go about their chores. Azula was exempt from chores for the moment, the caretakers were concerned she'd hurt herself or overexert herself. It made Azula furious. She wasn't helpless...she wasn't.....

But under ever vigilant eye of Jiao and Meihui she was mostly confined to her bed and her now near permanent fixture by the wood stove in the corner. The other children would sometimes come by and ask her what she was staring at, if she was cold, what was wrong with her face....It seemed all other children were insensitive morons who couldn't take a hint. Ty Lee was ditzy but at least she knew when to shut up, these children made her furious. She was furious at so many things...

Including herself, there were seven children living in the home. A pair of earthbending sisters and an earthbender boy a few years older than her, a pair of toddlers that only seemed to exist to scream and make messes, and Hop. 

Hop seemed the most interested in her. She couldn't understand why. She had told the boy several times to just shut up and go away, but he mostly just wandered off without any argument and came back some moments later with a pillow to rest beside her, or a fruit for her. It was....nice....but unwelcomed. She wasn't in the mood to deal with children. 

Unfortunately she was quite literally stuck with them. She sighed as she felt the pair of sisters sit next to her on her bandaged side. They always came to her from her scarred side. It made her strangely....self conscious. She hated having to turn her whole head to look at someone she'd rather not deal with. 

"Hey Fire Nation girl, what you lookin' at?" One of the sisters asked. She could be bothered to remember their names. Azula slowly turned her head away from the fire crackling in the stove. The girl was smiling and looking at her sister like Azula's very existence was a joke.

"I'm sitting. What does it look like, moron? " The girl gave little mock gasp that made Azula want to push her into a well.

"That's real mean, fire girl. Me and Mei, we might have to teach you how things work around here, if you keep that up." The girl--Mei she supposed--Was grinning and spinning a stone in her palm, like some silly earthbending trick was enough to intimidate her. 

Azula scoffed. "Leave me alone. You're annoying me." She said flatly, and turned her head back to the fire. An ember cracked and then suddenly Azula felt something strike her on the side of the head....one of the earth bender girls had....had hit her right in her blind spot--hard. Azula fell down to her side and clutched at her head. She felt a swift kick to her side come next.

"HEY! WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?" She heard a loud, high pitched voice yell out. Hop was suddenly in her line of sight, and crossing over toward her. She tried to sit up, but the pain in her side made it slow....having nearly useless hands didn't help. 

The two earthbenders girls giggled. "Heeey Hop! Just saying 'hi' to the fire girl." They continued their giggling fit, as they quickly dashed out the front door and down the road into town. Azula felt Hop try to help her sit up. He managed to let her stabilize herself to get upright again. She felt the beginning of tears in her good eye. 

"A--are you okay?" Hop asked softly. It was quietest she'd ever heard him speak in the short four days she's known him. "...what happened?"

"I called them morons so they hit me...they were on my...on my bad side..." Azula said, feeling her traitorous tears sliding down her cheek. 

"Cowards." Hop said, clearly saying it like he's heard an adult say it. Children pick up words and tones....mimic them...She wasn't sure why she was thinking about that. Perhaps the earthbender hit her harder than she thought and she had a concussion. Hop sat down next to her (on her good side) and for a long moment they stayed shoulder to shoulder in silence.

Then suddenly, Hop wrapped his arms around Azula gently. "I'm sorry you're hurt, Rina..."

Azula found herself crying harder and leaning into Hop's hug. 

* * * * * 

It's was nearly a week later, and Meihui had told Azula she could finally stop wearing bandages. It felt nice and....daunting. She had to admit she didn't know what she would see when they took off that bandage....she hadn't looked in a mirror when the bandages came off. The doctors and healers she's seen say it was 'healing as best as can be expected'....that meant that was good...right?

She sat in the kitchen, Hop next to her, holding a Jiao's hand mirror, while Meihui gently unwrapped Azula's arms. She had told Meihui she wanted to do the face last....she....she knew if it was bad enough she wouldn't be able to sit still to let her take the ones off her arms otherwise. The charring had turned a dark pinkish-red along her hands and wrist. Her fingers looked gnarled and rough. She used to have soft, beautiful hands....a princess' hands.

Azula took in a deep breath and bit her bottom lip. She will not cry in front of Hop again...the boy was becoming a crutch...She couldn't get attached to people. She wasn't weak enough to need people. To need something as asinine as comfort. But she's found herself giving into the temptation more and more.

"These look like they can use a few days of some ointment but, the bandages aren't necessary." Meihui said, balling up the used bandages and setting them aside to be tossed away. 

"Can....can I still wrap them?" She finds herself saying. Azula hung her head. "I--I don't think I can look at them all the time..."

Meihui gave her an infuriatingly kind look and nodded. "Of course." Meihui applied some ointment to her hands and rewrapped them, with less layers, simply enough to hide the scarring from her. 

Azula let out a deep sigh. "Alright...Let's get this over with. " Hop put a hand on her shoulder and Azula closed her eyes and waited to feel the soft weight off of the left side of her face. 

She slowly opened her eyes again. Her vision was dark and basically nonexistent in her bad eye. She already knew this...but having the bandage off was always a painful reminder. Meihui reached out her hand and Hop handed her the mirror. Azula watched as the reflective surface rose and caught the jagged, rough, dark red blotch covering half of her face. Her ear looked shriveled. Her left eye was dull and cloudy, a dirty copper when compared to her bright golden right one. 

Her lip trembled and she started to shake. She clutched at her short hair and let out a small wail. She wanted to throw the mirror against the wall and shout and scream. She wanted to burn it. Burn everything. Burn it to the ground....but she no longer had a spark. So she just dropped her head and let Hop lead her out to the bench in the garden.


	9. Chapter 9

The week after Meihui took the bandage off her face for the last time, she started running her firebending katas again. Her body felt weak and unbalanced. And she had no spark....But, still she was up before the sun started to rise, running her sets until Jiao found her out behind the garden, near the edge of the forest. She gave Azula a strange look as she sat there huffing, sweat dripping down her scarred face. She informed Azula that breakfast was ready, but the former princess just answered by going into her next set.

She heard Jiao let out a sigh from her good ear side. The woman was clearly frustrated with her, but Azula refused to give into her quiet, passive aggressive attempts to coerce her into sitting around that table and pretending the earthbender kids aren't waiting to call her stupid--or ugly...

The first time they saw her face without the bandages they had made fake gagging sounds and laughed at her...She hates to admit that it hurt her a great deal. It hurt even more that she felt powerless to stop their mockery. So she just clenched her fists as tightly as her weakened grip would allow and hung her head and asked to be excused from the dinner table.

Azula let out a long breath, as she landed awkwardly after running her _Sword of Sozin_ kata. She looked up to make sure no one saw her be so sloppy, and of course Hop is right there staring at her with his big dark black eyes. "What?" Azula rasped out.

"Jiao said you didn't wanna come in for breakfast?" Azula just let out a soft growl and nodded. She didn't need to be fussed after. She...she was fine--busy even! She had to gain back her fire! She had to learn to work with these nearly useless hands. She had so many cracks in herself that she needed to fix. "Why not?"

"I'm training." Azula answers quickly and firmly.

Hop's concerned face melted into a smile. "Cool! Training what?"

Azula let her scowl lessen. "Firebending." 

"Wow!! Are you gonna shoot fire!?" Hop asked, jumping up and down on the balls of his feet in excitement. 

Azula let out a hiss of frustration at the question and hung her head. She doesn't like letting people only see her scarred side, but Hop was there when she first saw it....he....he was allowed to see her vulnerable. She had already been weak in front of him several times, he was harmless. He was...just Hop.

"No. No fire. I....I haven't been able to make fire since I got--since I fled..."

"Oh....is that why you're always cold?" He asks, with a look like he solved some great and ancient riddle. "Folks always said firebenders are supposed'a be really warm....but you're always cold."

"Yeah....that's why..." She said quietly. "But I'm also out of practice. I haven't run my kata sets in over a month. I'm not used to such a long break.." She tried to ignore the bright flash of her father's white hot flames she saw every time she tried to feel her own fire.

"Oh...Well come on. You can do your firebending things after breakfast. I'm not eating until you do, Rina!" He said, grabbing her forearm gently with his little hand, pulling her toward the house. Azula sighed and let herself be pulled. If she put up a fuss, she knows Hop would just sit outside and watch her train and annoy her, so she went willingly. "Looks like rice porridge today!"

"It's rice porridge every day, Hop..." 

He just shrugged in response. "It's still good."

* * * * * * 

After a rather busy day at the office, Meihui was making her way back home. She was looking forward to seeing the children, and her wife. She knew calling her as such out loud would cause her a lot of trouble, but it didn't matter, she also knew she would always call Jiao her 'wife' in her head until she the day she dies. She was the kindest, softest, most beautiful woman Meihui had ever seen. She had been new in town. The little place needed a new healer and she felt ready to forge her own path. And on that first day, searching for a building to set up shop, she ran into Jiao.

The woman made Meihui's heart flutter as she talked about helping the war children she finds wandering the road to Ba Sing Se. The passion and kindness. It made Meihui swoon. The look of determination and love in her eyes still makes her swoon, even now, over a decade later. 

As Meihui's thoughts swam in a pleasant past, she caught a glimpse of one of the children behind the house. She made her way down the garden path and found Rina jumping into movements Meihui recognized as bending katas. Firebending ones if she were to guess. She had never seen someone bend fire, thankfully so, growing up during a multi-generational war with a nation of firebenders. 

But, she has certainly seen the aftermath of firebending. She's treated thousands of burns in her twenty years as a healer. So many of those burns were from a firebender's hands. Burnt children were the most heart wrenching. Especially when she knows it was intentional. They weren't an innocent caught up in a battle....they were tortured and often left to die. Either from cruelty or apathy. 

And here was a fire nation girl, with a jagged, angry burn scar on her face, practicing firebending without fire behind her garden. She looked exhausted. Her clothes were drenched in sweat. 

"Rina?" Meihui calls as the girl finished her kata. "Dear, how long has it been since you had a drink of water?" The girl gave a scowl, her scared side had no eyebrow so it made it a bit difficult, and shrugged. "How long have you been out here?"

"Since after breakfast. I ate despite it interrupting my training." She answered hoarsely. 

"...Rina have you been running katas all day? Aren't you exhausted?" Meihui asked as carefully as she could. She knew Rina was temperamental. Though who could blame the poor girl. The girl shrugged again.

"Father had me practice twelve hours a day, with minimal breaks for water." The girl stated matter of factly, like demanding that level of intense workload wasn't cruel and insane to ask of an eight year old. "...I'm out of shape." The girl mumbled.

"That---Rina...That's not good...you know that, right?"

Rina quirked her one remaining eyebrow. "I had to be the best firebender I could be....a master...It's what father wanted. He said laziness doesn't make you powerful...So I trained."

"Rina....are you really a firebender?" 

"Of course I am!" Rina snapped. She clenched her fists and dropped her head immediately. "I am a powerful firebender..." Sounding more like she was convincing herself.

Meihui took a deep breath and kneeled in front of Rina. "....Dear.." She spoke softly. "...Did your father burn you for not being a firebender?"

"No! I am a firebender!" The girl lifted her wrapped hand up and held out her palm. She looked at it expectantly and then furrowed her brow. She scrunched up her face in concentration and still....nothing. Her lip started to tremble. "I'm a firebender! I am! I have to be!! Father won't love me now!! He won't...."

Meihui wrapped the girl up in her arms. She heard her sob and felt her press her face into the front of her robes. "I really am a firebender. I am...I am..." She quietly said, her voice breaking. 

"Rina. There's nothing wrong with being a nonbender." Meihui said softly. She had no idea if all noble people in the fire nation expected their children to be powerful firebenders, or if Rina's father was just uniquely cruel and demanding....and abusive. Meihui gently rubbed circles along the little girl's back, as her tears slowed. 

The healer leaned back, but kept her hands resting on Rina's shoulders. She looked down at the girl as she tried to wipe the tears from her good eye. "You shouldn't be expected to do something you can't do. Not being able to bend isn't your fault-- What your father did to you--wasn't your fault." 

"You--You don't know what you're talking about..." The girl rasped, then hung her head, dropping her eyes to ground. "I'm going to go to bed now..." Meihui let the girl go and watched her slowly make her way back into the house. 

That girl needed affection and reassurance. And dammit, she was going to make sure she got it.


	10. Chapter 10

Azula, despite the herbalist's obvious objections, continued her training routine. Though, Jiao seemed to have figured out she can weaponize Hop and use him to persuade her into taking breaks for meals and water...well most of the time. Sometimes, Azula found herself in moods where nothing could make her stop running kata after kata. The intense shame at never feeling her fire was the most intense then. Shame burnt hot. 

She panted, trying to get her wrist to bend the angles she needed, but felt nothing but a dim tightness and watched her hands nearly dangle through her motions. It made her hands and forearms ache. She gritted her teeth and forced herself through the motions again as Agni made his way to his highest point. Even under it's mid day rays she was still unable to produce flame. 

"Pathetic." She grumbled. Hop leaned up from his spot lounging against a log.

"You say somethin', Rina?" 

"I said I'm pathetic." She growled. Hop gave her a confused look. "My katas are sloppy and I have no stamina. My father would be furious with me. "

"Well....maybe you need to take a break?" The boy jumped to his feet with a wide grin. "Let's go get some candies or something! Jiao gave me a copper for helping her with the garden!"

Azula looked at the boy a moment, and wiped her forehead with her wrist. After a long moment of watching Hop bounce on the balls of his feet, she shrugged. "Fine. Let me grab my cloak...." She muttered wandering around toward the house. 

"Goin' into town with Rina!" Hop shouts as he runs to catch up with her. 

The walk into town was quiet. Azula was glad for the silence, after Jiao fussed over her needing to drink water. The woman finally badgered her into sitting down and eating a left over meat bun and a cup of water before their two mile walk to the general store. The woman's concern was....unnecessary. She knew her limits--even after being so severely....weakened.

Hop practically skipped the whole way there. He started to point out buildings and what they were. She supposed she hadn't really seen much of the place out side of her ride to Meihui's shop. Azula had the hood of her cloak pulled up, trotting behind Hop. She didn't need these earth peasants gawking at her....and perhaps with the hood up she'll miss more of the scornful glares that way. She still felt their eyes on her as they walked down the dusty main road. 

Meihui spotted them from her shop window and greeted them from her doorway. "Morning, kids. It's nice seeing you out and about, Rina." The herbalist smiled. Azula ducked her head and turned away, but, gave a muttered thank you. "Where you two headed?"

"Me and Rina are gonna go to Lau's general store and get some of those like hard candy things!! I don't think Rina's had any candy before."

Azula was taken aback. "What made you think that?" The former princess asked confused.

Hop just shrugged. "Your dad doesn't sound like he'd let you have candy."

The little peasant was observant. He also put together some image of her home life from the bits she's told him in her....weaker moments. He, like most of the others, must assume she's a nonbender like him and is filling in the blanks as to why she runs firebending katas. It's true that sweets were...discouraged after she showed spark, she had eaten candy only once....Mother had given it to her. She had had a mischievous glint in her eye, and a warm smile on her face. It was before father took over her training. Before father taught her the meaning of her station. The power of strength and the weakness of sentimentality. 

'Father could never be accused of being sentimental...' She thought as she looked down at her nearly useless hands dangling at her sides. "No...I suppose he didn't...." She mutters in reply.

Meihui gave her a strange look. It was that same concern she'd seen on others' faces during her escaping the home islands, but a bit more knowing. She has apparently also pieced together some vision of what life was like for her back in the Fire Nation. "Well, have fun you two." The herbalist said, giving a warm smile to them. Hop gave a quick wave and he was off again. Azula gave another look at Meihui and started off behind Hop. 

Azula had barely made it inside the spacious general store, when a voice came from behind the counter. "Hey! No Fire Nation in here!" Azula's knees buckled for a moment. She found herself frozen staring at Hop's confused face. "You heard me, ashmaker! Get out!" Hop looked up at her and then to the clerk charging down one of the isles toward them. He quickly grabbed Azula's hand and gently pulled her back out of the store. 

They stumbled out into the street and Azula looked up to make sure the clerk hadn't followed them outside. The hood of her cloak had come off. Azula pawed at her short hair for a moment and tried to fight off the beginning of tears. Hop stepped into her line of sight and quietly asked, "Are you okay?" 

Azula bit her bottom lip and nodded. "Yes. I--I don't think this was a good idea. Get your candy. I'll....I'll be back at the home." She replied. She grabbed at her hood awkwardly until she grasped it between her fingers and pulled it back on. Hop gave her a little sigh and leaned up and helped adjust her hood. The former princess gave a curt nod in appreciation. 

"How about you wait here a sec', while I go in and get us the candy?" Hop gave her a grin. "I know folks can be weird about the whole....fire nation thing...But..." She wasn't certain Hop knew how that sentence would end. He simply looked at her a moment and rushed back into the store. Azula sighed and sat down on the step outside. She looked out across the road to a small tea shop opposite the general store.

Her fuddy-duddy uncle loved tea. She wondered if he would approve of whatever that place was serving. She wondered if, as Iroh lead his vast armies back to the coastline in defeat, did he march through here? Probably not. Azula would have seen it. But, she can imagine her silly uncle, in all his grief, wandering into every little tea house in the Earth Kingdom. The thought made Azula smile just a little. Instead of burning Ba Sing Se to the ground he went on a tea tasting tour. She wouldn't be surprised. 

The sound of Hop's footsteps stirred her from her thoughts. She stood up and saw the bright grin on Hop's face couldn't help but let a smile slip onto her face. "I suppose that means you got your candy?" Hop nods excitedly. "Well...Then, let's get home so you can eat them, then." 

"So WE can eat them, you mean." 

Azula shrugged. "Whatever..." 

Azula watched Hop pocket the treats and turn around backwards so he can look at Azula as they made their way back down the road. But as they were nearing Meihui's storefront they found a group of kids a few years older than her standing in front of them. Azula immediately recognized one of the kids as the earthbender boy from the home. The boy in front (the leader, Azula presumed) smirked at her. 

"Hey, ashmaker, what you doin' in my town?" The boy asked, his voice soaked in smug contempt. He stepped forward and pretended to squint, taking in Azula's face. "Wow. Must be a shit ashmaker, ashmaker, you got a real nasty burn. " Azula let out a sharp growl. "Why do you think you're allowed to be here, ashmaker? Because those two idiots took you in?" The kids around her chuckled, clearly delighted by their leader's remarks. 

"Shut up Cheng! Leave Rina alone!" Azula stiffened. She had never had someone stick up for her like this. She didn't really need it, certainly. Most people around her were afraid of her....But, even during her moments before aquatinting herself with Mai and Ty Lee at the Royal Academy for Girls, she found herself lonely and unable to shake the few barbs the other girls would throw her way. She had to answer their jabs and cruel stares with power. She'd shoot off a flame their way, or threaten their families....but now...She had no power and Hop was bothering to stand up for her. It made her feel so weak but not.....ungrateful. 

"Stay out of this, Hop." The earthbender from the orphan's home said. "She doesn't deserve to stay with us! She's one of them! I see her doing her stupid firebending practice all day! She's an ashmaker!" The boy spat. At the home he's so quiet. She had grown weary of the two girl earthbenders, but she didn't realize he housed so much animosity toward her. 

"But--Li...She's from the home....She--she has no one...just like us." Azula feels tears slipping from her good eye. Li turned his head away and crossed his arms. This earned a grin from Cheng. Hop backs up to wrap an arm around Azula. "Just--Just leave us alone. We're going home anyway."

"This one's home sure as hell isn't here." Cheng sneered, pointing a finger down at Azula. "You said she's a firebender, Li?" Li gave a resolute nod. Cheng's sneer became a smirk. "Do some firebending for me, ashmaker. " He commanded. 

Azula sucked in a sharp breath. She felt the heat of her father's fire on her face a moment, and clenched her eyes closed. She let out a long exhale from her nose. "Fine." She said, sliding out from behind Hop's arms. 

"Rina please..." Hop says quietly. 

Azula didn't answer and instead jumped into a firebending stance. She stared at Cheng and then to Li and the other cronies. She took a deep, centering breath, searched for her inner flame, and shot out the best punch she could muster with her damaged hand.....and no flame....not even smoke.....She tried the other arm, and threw a punch. Nothing. 

She kept throwing punch after punch. Trying desperately to get her hands to ignite. She started crying and screaming for the fire to come. The Earth Kingdom boys just laughed at her. Soon they were pulling small rocks from the ground and throwing them at her. She felt a few bounce off of her before one pelted her across the temple on her good side. She fell to the ground, feeling more rocks hit her.

Suddenly, there was the weight of Hop wrapping his arms around her. "LEAVE HER ALONE!" Hop shouted. The rocks stop coming and Azula couldn't make out much of what the others said. She just wanted to stop crying. She couldn't stop crying. 

Before she knew any time had passed, Meihui was kneeled beside her, along with Hop. When did she leave her shop? Did she hear what was happening? Azula felt the dull buzzing in her skull and leaned against Meihui as she put her hands on her shoulders. The herbalist's words suddenly sounding like language all of a sudden. "...inside. Okay?" Azula nods, and the woman easily picks her up and carries her toward her office, while Hop follows behind them. 

"I'm sorry..." Azula mumbles, somehow finding herself already in the hospital bed in Meihui's office. She isn't sure who she's apologizing to. Her cheek feels soaked. There's a bandage on her head. She was used to it, she supposed. Meihui's hand delicately clutches hers. The woman's thumb rubs across her knuckles gently. She used to see her mother do that to Zuko when he was upset.

"You don't need to apologize, Rina."

"I thought I could bend for them and they'd be afraid.....that they'd leave me alone...but--I couldn't...I haven't been able to..." She says softly. 

"They hurt you, and it's their fault." Meihui said. 

"But if I could bend I would have hurt them instead." Azula said matter of factly, the cloudy haze in her head making the words feel weightless. "I would shown them how strong I am...I would have burnt them..."

Meihui gave her that strange look again. She was tired of pitying looks...she really was. "Rina. You're...you're disabled...it wasn't fair for them to pick on you...especially for you being a fire nation refugee. You show the world how they will hurt whoever they please...but Cheng is--privilaged. He feels like he gets to decide who's the real victim, while his dad runs this little town. Don't let their words hurt you, Rina." Meihui gives Azula's shoulder a gentle squeeze. 

She could feel herself crying again. "...I'm not weak..." She mumbles. "I wanted to burn them...." She said, her voice trembling. "I can't--Why can't I just burn?!" Azula wails, Meihui wrapping her arms around her.

Azula shook in the woman's arms as the late afternoon shadows slid across the room.


	11. Chapter 11

Meihui watched the sun peak over the mountains, as the fire nation girl ran her katas. She had taken to watching some of Rina's morning exercises before heading to work. She watched her drop out of a firebending stance and turn to the herbalist. Meihui smiled and held out a cup of water for her. Rina took it gingerly. She still had little dexterity or grip strength in her hands, so the girl often would cutch things between her palms and use the pressure to keep things study.

Rina finished the water and kept her head down. The lump on her head, and the bruises from the earthbender children's bullying the week before, were fading. "Looks good, Rina! You're quite quick." Meihui smiled and took the cup back. 

"I'm still sloppy....and my hands..." She slowly clenched them into a fists. "They're weak..."

Meihui tapped her chin a moment. "Would you like to join me at my office today? Maybe help out? Maybe getting your mind off of it for a while will do you some good." The girl let out a little uncertain growl. "Plus it will help with strengthening dexterity and movement back up in your hands."

The Fire Nation refugee seemed to think it over a moment and then nodded. Meihui smiled and held out her hand for Rina to take. The girl furrowed her brow and just stared at the hand and started to walk back around the house. The herbalist sighed and followed her. 

As they reached town, Rina began to walk closer to her. She had pulled the hood of her cloak over her head, and was clearly trying to make herself look smaller. She was looking around for signs of Cheng or his little group. Meihui reached out and wrapped an arm around Rina's shoulder as they walked, pulling her close to her hip. Rina stilled a moment but then kept walking beside her. Some vendors gave them strange looks but, thankfully, it seemed like Rina didn't see most of them. 

They reached her shop and she went about opening up the shutters and setting things up for when she needs them in a pinch. She showed Rina where the bandages, gauze and premixed ointments were. As her assistant she'd mostly be responsible for grabbing those things for her. The girl treated the tasks with the utmost seriousness. The look on her face was sort of adorable. 

After about half an hour of looking over her letters, and treatment plans she's made recently, Meihui grabbed her Pai Sho board from her desk and carried it over to the, certainly, restless girl in the waiting room. She sat the board down in front of Rina and she quirked her remaining eyebrow at it. "Have you played Pai Sho before, Rina?"

The girl nodded. "My uncle taught me. He'd make me drink tea and play with him before he went back to the front..." The girl's eyes were planted on the tiles sitting on the table, but she was probably lost someplace back home. She had no idea where her uncle fit into her life. Her father burnt her, but it seems like that's the only person she will talk about. 

"Your uncle is a soldier?"

Rina turned her eyes back up at her, and then quickly turned away. The walls were going back up. That was alright. She didn't want to push. The girl simply nodded and quickly, loosely palmed a tile and placed it on the board. "Your move."

* * * * * * 

Azula had just put down her wheel tile, when the door to Meihui's shop opened. A burly looking middle aged woman was gently leading a girl about her own age, gripping a strip of cloth around her hand, inside. "Fool girl tried to reach under the plow without haltin' the Ostrich-Ox! Thing coulda cut her hand off!" The woman said, her high voice frantic. 

The girl grimaced at the noise of the woman and moved to sit in Meihui's examination room. Azula rushed in to grab a good amount of gauze and bandages, along with antiseptic and pain killers. Meihui seemed please with her efficiency and initiative, as she gave a thankful smile, before she went about tending to the girl's injured hand. 

The woman, once it was clear her daughter wasn't going to die of blood-loss, kept her eyes on Azula. Her expression was hard to read....which, Azula has found, was happening with a lot more people than it used to. She's come to realize reading someone's face at court of the Fire Nation Palace was different from peasants...They conceal things she would never think of hiding, but then are often stupidly honest. It was confusing. The rules were different. Azula couldn't tell if this woman despised her or was pitying her. 

As Meihui was finishing wrapping up the girl's hand, and setting aside a bit of antiseptic for the woman to take home with her, the woman decided to speak. "That girl Fire Nation?" Her eyes were on Azula but she was clearly talking to Meihui.

Azula heard Meihui sharply sigh before answering. "Yes. Her name is Rina. Rina, this is Lim." 

The woman--Lim-- just continued staring. "What she doing here?" Lim's daughter slid off of the examination table, her hand taken care of, and stood next to her mother. 

Meihui stood up straighter, lengthening her already impressive height, and just stared at Lim a moment. "She is a refugee like all the other kids in my home. I thought it would be good for her to come and help around my shop a little. Does that bother you, Lim?"

Lim's eyes turned back to the herbalist. "No..." The woman said stiffly. She reached into a pouch on her hip and handed Meihui a couple silver coins. " Thank you." She gave Azula one last harsh stare before guiding her daughter back out of the room. 

The girl looked back over her shoulder and looked at Meihui and Azula before giving a soft "Thank you." 

Meihui stayed rigid and tall until she heard her shop's door close again and then quickly turned to Azula and put a hand on her shoulder. "Rina...are you alright?" Azula nodded. Of course she was alright. She was fine. They were afraid of her. People have always been afraid of her. She reveled in it...

...Then why does that fear make her feel so ugly? Make her feel so awful, and ashamed? Where was all the power fear was supposed to give her? Did that power die with her fire? 

Azula numbly went about putting away the gauze and bandages they hadn't needed and carefully sealed the ointment jars back up. Meihui was filling out her report on the visit while Azula returned to their half finished game of Pai Sho. If Meihui doesn't go easy on her, Azula would lose in four turns.

* * * * * 

Over the next several weeks Azula would get up before dawn and run her katas. If her being the first one awake and out of the house, meant her spending less time around the earthbenders, the better. Hop would usually bring breakfast out with him a little after sunrise. Azula would eat, while listening to Hop ramble about what amazing things he saw in the woods behind the garden with Jiao the day before, or the weird nonsense folk tales he half remembered his mother telling him.

If Meihui didn't have to work late, or overnight, she'd come and greet them both and take Azula with her to her office. It was...nice. Having a routine again felt wonderful. And the herbalist was decent company. She taught Azula about what herbs treated best against certain irritants. What plants are poisonous and which are safe, and showed her the plants she used in her shop that she grew in the garden behind the home. She taught her how to treat fevers, and how to best use a mortar and pestle, how to treat concussions, and how to clean wounds. 

It was the day before Azula's ninth birthday that she saw the smoke billowing from the other side of town.


End file.
